Hurt feelings and bruised egos

[FFEMT150 214]

I'm not really looking to have a discussion but if one insues, so be it. I have noticed in a few threads recently that some people aren't able to take criticism or jest very well anymore. I would like to take this opportunity to bring back an acronym that was used by many on this site. Q.T.I.P. Quit taking it personal. Guess what kids, this is the emergency service. You are posting on a forum that is dedicated to us. If you say something out of line or just plain stupid, you will get your various parts busted. That's just how it works. Thanks for your time guys and gals. As always, stay safe.

Wisker

P.s. If you are going to be a keyboard tough guy, sign your name.

[Ladder44 73]

Agreed,"Check your F#$&ing feelings at the door"

[FirNaTine 370]

Couldn't agree more! A lot of QTIPS on here lately! Can't take constructive criticism!

[gpeifer 89]

Whisker is a name? I thought it was something my cat had.

[FFEMT150 214]

Whisker is a name? I thought it was something my cat had.

Here is a perfect example. This person is teasing me about my last name. Did I get angry? No. I simply giggled over his inability to check spelling from a post not 3 above his own. No hurt feelings here.

Yes, a whisker is something your cat has. A wisker is me. Ball breaker.

Edit: removal of fat finger typeo.

Edited January 14, 2014 by FFEMT150

[Westchester 49]

I'm so happy someone other than myself feels the same way. I 100% agree with you FFEMT150, but in the world of lawsuits, slander, and bullies it seems almost impossible to say, write, or type your feelings, opinions and facts. I wish I can thread about some articles or comment about certain things, but I did that done that and got heat about it. I never wanted to use a false I.D, but in todays baby sucking nipple world, who wants to her crap about what I said. We all have stories about the FD service or EMS service. It's hard for some to (Q.T.I.P), especially Chiefs or Captains of certain departments. Things are not what they used to be. There was also a time you can have a beer together and shoot the s*** during social events and the next you know your being suspended or fired. There is no thick skin anymore. Most go running home to mommy with tears in there eye, a business card of a lawyer name in one and false statements in the other. Thick skin got feeled off a long time ago most take it personally and there the ones that I see on this site.

[ex-commish 490]

I remember a time when you thought people were mad at you if your balls were not being broken. Now you have to worry about saying something to someone and next thing you know you are the target of a lawsuit or charges wether internal or external

[FFEMT150 214]

I remember a time when you thought people were mad at you if your balls were not being broken. Now you have to worry about saying something to someone and next thing you know you are the target of a lawsuit or charges wether internal or external

Those were the good 'ol days.

[x4093k 654]

Yes, a whisker is something your car has. A wisker is me. Ball breaker.

My car doesn't...

[FFEMT150 214]

My car doesn't...

*cat. Sorry. Fat fingers small keyboard.

[FirNaTine 370]

I'm so happy someone other than myself feels the same way. I 100% agree with you FFEMT150, but in the world of lawsuits, slander, and bullies it seems almost impossible to say, write, or type your feelings, opinions and facts. I wish I can thread about some articles or comment about certain things, but I did that done that and got heat about it. I never wanted to use a false I.D, but in todays baby sucking nipple world, who wants to her crap about what I said. We all have stories about the FD service or EMS service. It's hard for some to (Q.T.I.P), especially Chiefs or Captains of certain departments. Things are not what they used to be. There was also a time you can have a beer together and shoot the s*** during social events and the next you know your being suspended or fired. There is no thick skin anymore. Most go running home to mommy with tears in there eye, a business card of a lawyer name in one and false statements in the other. Thick skin got feeled off a long time ago most take it personally and there the ones that I see on this site.

Now isn't that the truth! Spot on Westchester!

[Westchester 49]

I know this is a topic that has been beaten to death, and not many emergency personal will comment on a topic that we all deal with. It does bring up good points. I feel the moral in Fire Departments suck. I can see the numbers of responders getting lower and lower for calls. There used to be a time that when the pager wqent off regardless what time or what call, we all went because not only for the duty we love but to get out and hang around after the call and shoot the s***. Now ( and I know we all have families, etc. etc. ) it's like everyone is afraid to even talk in the rig going or coming from a call. I love to make jokes, and sometimes crude jokes or like poking fun with other brothers and sisters. But my GOD it's like you have to wear a muzzle now. It's to the point that probies complain about being bullied because they have to roll hose. Why to I want to subject my self to this baby bullshit, if you can't take it, get out!

[dwcfireman 656]

This is an interesting topic. I remember from the couple of psychology classes I took in college that human emotions were explained, and the dynamic of the human psyche plays out differently for everyone. I never really understood it until I got into the working world, started networking, and just started talking to random people. It's absolutely amazing how different people have different levels of emotion, and more so how different people have different breaking points of when and where anger sets in.

I'm not going to say learning all of this makes me immune to not getting hurt on a personal level. EVERYONE gets their feelings hurt at some point. EVERYONE has those moments where you just walk away with your tail between you legs. What I have learned over the years is how to deal with it, ignore the negative criticism, and just move on. I remember a younger me who would lash out a bit too quickly before thinking about the situation, a younger me who though I was a bit more invincible and smarter than I actually was. But, I've slowly figured out (and still learning) how the world works, how people interact with each other, and how even social media molds our personalities.

The point I'm striving for is that there is no logical reason to get upset over menial things. There's no reason to get mad because someone put you down, or told you that you're wrong, or even when you get so frustrated with something that you just need to unleash. Just take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and remember that what that DB told you is just another meaningless comment. If you still feel ticked off about it, there's a support group for everybody, and it's called your favorite bar. Your friends will help you get over the anger over a few brewskies.

P.s. If you are going to be a keyboard tough guy, sign your name.

Since this is also mentioned, I would like to bring my post back around to the social media influence (aka cyber bullying). People get so comfortable hiding behind a screen name that they feel invincible enough to say what ever they want. I'm not going to hide the fact that I have fallen victim to this (yes, I used to be young and stupid, too). FFEMT150 is 100% correct that if you want to be negative to someone, if you want to put someone down, be a man and identify yourself! But I'm going to take it a step further...be a bigger man and stop yourself before you say something negative and/or derogatory. Think about your response, change the wording, and make it constructive. The only way anyone can move forward in this world is if we're all constructive with one another, and being negative with other people only prevents the process of forward thinking. EMTBravo.com is created for all of us emergency responders to talk and be constructive with one another to teach the younger members, inform the newer members, and to share information and ideas with eerybody else that does the same jobs that we all do.

So, if your feelings are hurt and your ego is bruised, brush it off and jump back on the wagon. You'll get over it. If you're the ones causing the bruises intentionally, you need to reevaluate your intentions of being a member on this site.

Justin McGory

Edit #1: I just want to add that I'm not mad at anyone in particular and not trying to call out specific people, I'm just pointing out some things that I have learned over the years to better myself and share my opinion with others.

Edit #2: Addition of intentionally to my final statement.

Edited January 15, 2014 by dwcfireman

[FirNaTine 370]

I know this is a topic that has been beaten to death, and not many emergency personal will comment on a topic that we all deal with. It does bring up good points. I feel the moral in Fire Departments suck. I can see the numbers of responders getting lower and lower for calls. There used to be a time that when the pager wqent off regardless what time or what call, we all went because not only for the duty we love but to get out and hang around after the call and shoot the s***. Now ( and I know we all have families, etc. etc. ) it's like everyone is afraid to even talk in the rig going or coming from a call. I love to make jokes, and sometimes crude jokes or like poking fun with other brothers and sisters. But my GOD it's like you have to wear a muzzle now. It's to the point that probies complain about being bullied because they have to roll hose. Why to I want to subject my self to this baby bullshit, if you can't take it, get out!

A lot has to do with the way their Mommy and Daddy are bringing them up an Society as a whole. Everybody gets a trophy now so nobody's feelings are hurt. A lot of kids being born with a silver spoons in their mouths and feel they're owed everything.

Edited January 15, 2014 by FirNaTine

[antiquefirelt 994]

A lot has to do with the way their Mommy and Daddy are bringing them up an Society as a whole. Everybody gets a trophy now so nobody's feelings are hurt. A lot of kids being born with a silver spoons in their mouths and feel they're owed everything.

Pretty valid point. I just took an interesting class this fall where they showed some of the reasons for these types of 'feelings" shifts as well as the sense of entitlement. People went from loyal long time employees, to wanting equality in the workplace, then no ones' a loser, everyone gets a trophy and now those kids that got the trophy even though they just participated are no joining the workforce. They expect equal pay for doing nothing while another person busts their hump. I might be able to find the demographics chart that actually shows the progression so that even us public servants can understand it.

[efd184 59]

Would anyone believe me is I said there are literal cry babies in the fire service and I don't mean complainers

[FFEMT150 214]

This stuff is great, better than watching THE VIEW!

Really? Don't you guys have a parade to polish your brass for?

Parades don't start for a few more months.

[FFEMT150 214]

Gee I guess the brass ain't shining then

My brass is always parade ready. Never know when you need it.

[thebreeze 194]

Gotta look good

It's not always just about looking good. Retired BC John Salka wrote a great article about polishing the brass, how as a probie it was an important task to be performed regularly. Not only did it look good, helping with company pride, but it also indirectly helped familiarize the probie with exactly where everything was on the rig, and what it was used for.

[gamewell45 258]

Would anyone believe me is I said there are literal cry babies in the fire service and I don't mean complainers

There are "cry babies" in every type of job; not just the fire service. If they have a valid issue, address it, if not, let the tears roll down their cheeks.

[MoFire390 118]

A lot of guys agreeing with good old PITA FFEMT150. Well ok I do as well only because I would have to hear him complain in person how I didn't. driving him nuts is how I roll. I guess being family has it's ups and downs. I know for one I'm a big person on the QTIP scale. That's just the way I am. I get over it. Just takes me a few days.

Stay safe all

Ken

[firemoose827 324]

I know this is a topic that has been beaten to death, and not many emergency personal will comment on a topic that we all deal with. It does bring up good points. I feel the moral in Fire Departments suck. I can see the numbers of responders getting lower and lower for calls. There used to be a time that when the pager wqent off regardless what time or what call, we all went because not only for the duty we love but to get out and hang around after the call and shoot the shit. Now ( and I know we all have families, etc. etc. ) it's like everyone is afraid to even talk in the rig going or coming from a call. I love to make jokes, and sometimes crude jokes or like poking fun with other brothers and sisters. But my GOD it's like you have to wear a muzzle now. It's to the point that probies complain about being bullied because they have to roll hose. Why to I want to subject my self to this baby bullshit, if you can't take it, get out!

I can relate to this. Had a big fire in our mutual aid departments district a week ago, and while we were responding in the back of our rescue truck getting our gear on, one of the probies who just finished her FF1 class got her air pack on and then turned her back to me and said out loud "Turn me on". I smiled and said "Hey sure, but arent you married?" It was one of those moments you realised what you were saying...as you were saying it...and wished you could take it back...but fortunately she laughed and joked back with me and the others laughed too. I was thankful she didnt scream sexual harrassment or cry to the chief about it. But thats what we are supposed to do in the fire service, joke around with each other and break balls, it is how you know someone isnt mad at you. Like someone else said its when you are not getting your balls busted you should be worried.

I agree though.

[FFEMT150 214]

I can relate to this. Had a big fire in our mutual aid departments district a week ago, and while we were responding in the back of our rescue truck getting our gear on, one of the probies who just finished her FF1 class got her air pack on and then turned her back to me and said out loud "Turn me on". I smiled and said "Hey sure, but arent you married?" It was one of those moments you realised what you were saying...as you were saying it...and wished you could take it back...but fortunately she laughed and joked back with me and the others laughed too. I was thankful she didnt scream sexual harrassment or cry to the chief about it. But thats what we are supposed to do in the fire service, joke around with each other and break balls, it is how you know someone isnt mad at you. Like someone else said its when you are not getting your balls busted you should be worried.

I agree though.

Send that one to firefighter close calls moose. Gotta be careful these days. From what I'm gathering in your post she seems like she will fit into the FD well.