Funny things said on the radio / in the firehouse

[IzzyEng4 427]

Okay, we need a thread to lighten up things and give us a good chuckle. Post anything funny you have heard over the air due to an open mic or somehow related to a call while in the firehouse.

Here is a few:

"Engine 11 to FireComm, responding.......Dude that's my house!!!! :::clicking sound of un-keying the mike:::

"Engine 12 responding............GET YOUR BIG FAT ### IN THE TRUCK, WE'RE LATE!!!!

"........and then she.........wait..... OH ####!!! Now all of New Haven knows of my sex life!!!" (The beginning was quite entertaining but not suitable for this web site).

AND

"Doesn't this firehouse have a pole?!?!?!?!?!" - An out of towner visiting PCFD HQ while running down three flights of stairs.

Edited December 27, 2011 by IzzyEng4

[eric12401 77]

Last winter, Town of Ulster PD were dispatched to a subject trying to go into the frozen Hudson River with his jetski, and ended up getting stuck on the ice. One LEO on scene called for the FD to assist, and when clearing the scene, the LEO said "subject nominated for a Darwin Award, back in service"

[SRS131EMTFF 471]

Radnor, PA Fire Co. to Dispatch: The Monkey has returned to the cage.

Dispatch to Radnor: Received, dispatching bananas to your location.

[PCFD ENG58 1,085]

Port Chester P.D. base, car 52, 53 get right down to ** Fox Island road reported kicthen fire, 58 to HQ isn't that your house ? 51 respond to HQ to pick me up !

[PCFD ENG58 1,085]

239* TO 60 CONTROL , release Eng58 and I will be holding my self till Con Ed shows ! 10-4 239* holding your self !

[PC_420 28]

"Putnam 911 to Mahopac Falls Fire, status"

"Single, but engaged. Hit'em again"

"Eenie meanie miney moe, how do you read my radio?"

"Putnam 911 to __1-1, still no response, what's your pleasure"

"__1-1 to Putnam, this isn't the time or place, I'm in the middle of an emergency"

And my favorite:

"107 to Control, I'm gonna be here for a while. It's like an arrest jackpot"

Edited December 27, 2011 by PC_420

[xfirefighter484x 234]

One of our units, I will spare who it actually is, has had some real gems. In regards to an erratic vehicle complaint:

"...I am behind that vehicle now, just waiting for him to do something wrong... And he just did..."

In regards to a domestic;

"Unfortunately I am familiar, show me enroute"

[peterose313 345]

I recall last winter hanging out with a friend and had 60 control on. It was late at night, like 2 am so it was your typical pd/ems calls at that point. Radio was silent for like 10 -20 minutes and then all of a sudden we heard, "If you see something, shoot it!" Never heard anything else before or after.

[BigBuff 27]

Just a few nights ago, listening to 60 control (which doesn't get good reception over here) and a dispatcher had left the microphone on... He was singing and tapping to one of Beyonce's songs, until he realized it and said... "S*^% THE THING IS ON!!" and turned it off.. Very funny to listen to half the song over the radio and him singing along to it..

[JohnnyOV 2]

During a snow stand-by...

Base to utility: how are the conditions out there?

utility to base: wet and slippery

unknown source: YEHAHHHHH! THATS HOW WE LIKE IT!

[EFFD4091-MLSS emt 13]

-- ## to HQ - yea we have an "artistic" (autistic) child here

-- "unknown" "does that mean he is good with a paint brush.....

[towerladder2 22]

Just the other day... Battalion-- to the Bronx.. Small propane fire in a roach coach... Bronx to Battalion--...did the roach coach burn down????

[TFD-OHFD 0]

in response to a wires on fire "#### to dispatch, looks like we have a suicide squirrel"

[grumpyff 1,159]

So many stories...

The NYPDTransit Bureau radio network is notorious for dead spots and malfunctions. One night Central was having a real trouble hearing units in the field, and asked a unit to repeat their transmission several times. Finally someone got on the radio and announced, "Central, change your location and try again."

I think almost every NYPD division has or had a Chewbacca on it. "Chewie, on the air?"

One morning a sector was trying reach Central, and either the dispatcher didn't hear it or had stepped away from the console, someone played the Verizon telephone operator over the radio. "I'm sorry the number you have called is not in service at this time. Please hang up and try your call again."

I got central one morning. I had arrested someone for laying down in the transit system with an open warrant. I put over 'central show me with a 10 -12 times 1 (arrest) at Dyckman St."

The dispatcher responded with "Unit, what is the 12 for?"

Me, "Felonious Mopery"

Another unit chimed in "Aggravated Mopery"

Me" Yup, he's pretty aggravated about it"

Central, " very good, aggravated felonious mopery at Dykman, can I get a unit for transport?"

Edited December 28, 2011 by grumpyff

[conman 40]

My department had a medical the other day.

"County ### responding"

"County ### responding"

"Ulster County 911 to ### or ###?"

"COUNTY ### RESPONDING!"

"OK ### I'll show you responding"

"Ulster County 911 to Gardiner and Mobile life a second call for your dispatch"

My chiefs got bored at a medical on day so...

"##-1, ## We pick them up and move them around"

[BIGRED1 71]

While responding to a border call which we share with another department.

"60 Control to Eng** Would you like (other departments name here) to respond as well"

"They can come if they want too"

Had me laughing at 2AM

[dwcfireman 656]

For a call of an inbound aircraft with smoke in the cockpit:

ARFF Unit: "Aircraft ###, confirm smoke in the cockpit."

Aircraft: "### Confirming smoke in the cockpit."

ARFF Unit: "Roger, awaiting your arrival."

**30 seconds later**

Aircraft: "Disregard, we turned it off."

[STAT213 332]

Chief to Fire Alarm (at the scene of a working fire): Fire alarm, Car 1, gimme a second.

Fire alarm reply: Take all the time you need chief.

[Bnechis 3,961]

60 Control to Engine __ & Ambulance ___: Respond to a difficulty breather at the Demonic Nursing Home.

60 Control to Engine __ & Ambulance ___: Correction Dumont Nursing Home

Ambulance ___ to 60 Control: You got it correct the 1st time.

[PFDRes47cue 653]

" ____ Police to the _VAC Duty Poo Crew..."

Call for a really messy GI Bleed...

" ____ Police to the _VAC Duty Crew respond to (address) for a bleeder."

DPW workers singing Oh Christmas Tree on the radio.

DPW workers telling trucks to meet them someone to observe a jogger.

Edited December 28, 2011 by PFDRes47cue

[grumpyff 1,159]

Central, "I need a unit to check and advise on a ..."

Unit " I'll chicken and fries on that central."

Also

Central "I need a unit for Times Sq, report of an EDP running naked thru the station

"post 19 central, any further description?l

Central" Male white, no clothing given"

right on cue someone played a sound bite from tje movie Airplane! "Ever see a grown man naked?

[Guest alsfirefighter]

I'd have to let some of my friends on 60 to chime in with some of mine. Remember 585 and I have had some good ones over the years together.

[Task Force 7 65]

Station X1 respond to (address of 911 emergency) medical emergency.....Elderly male got his pe--s stuck in his zipper!! Medstar## enroute! Engine X1 enroute to (address) on a medical emergency. PD arrived on scene first and comes out the front door of residence as we roll up on scene and is LHAO. May need to bring the Jaws of Life!

Edited December 28, 2011 by Task Force 7

[dwcfireman 656]

When I used to volunteer upstate I got pulled over by a sheriff deputy while responding to an apartment fire with people trapped:

Officer (as he approaches my window): "I hear you got a scanner in there."

Me: "It's my pager."

Officer: "What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm going to a fire."

Officer: "Where is the fire?"

Me (pointing to the orange glow in the sky): "There."

Edited December 28, 2011 by dwcfireman

[50-65 205]

On an overnight shift...

Tones go out for one of Mobile Life's units.

"2##, Union Vale, ALS meet with Hudson Valley for ... "

"2##, received. paramedic assist to Hudson Valley Paramedics"

Overheard from a department on a Sunday morning live burn drill

"Headquarters, Car 1"

"Headquarters on, Car 1"

"Headquarters, request 12 more sandwiches to the scene"

On cold night at a structure fire...

"Command to Engine 3##, have your crew... who the hell was that!.. " as I went sliding down a hill on the ice.

[wtthop 2]

During a winter storm last year "60 control, can you get an ETA on Con Ed?"

"60 replies with... as per Con Ed next tuesday!"

[JohnnyOV 2]

At a working fire on the corner of X and Y ...M/A engine coming in:

"Engine ### to 60-control, is that a right or left off of Xst onto Y"

(before 60-control had a chance to answer)

"IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY"RE GOING, SEND THEM HOME!!!!!!!"

"60- Control to Eng ###, that's going to be a right."

over heard on the fire-ground after that was "look for the smoke and shiny trucks"

Edited December 28, 2011 by JohnnyOV

[x2011 0]

A Southern Westchester Department a few years ago:

"Roger - where are you?"

Reply - "I'm over here".

Response - "Stay there - I'll be right over"

[FFEMT150 214]

a few years back...

captian-"xx11 to xx13 what is your location?"

me-"Front seat directly behind the steering wheel k"

Edited December 28, 2011 by FFEMT150

[SRS131EMTFF 471]

-"Dispatch, this is *** A-1, have the other phase units been cleared yet"

-"Dispatch on, *** A-1, you were cleared 20 minutes ago, you can return to quarters"

-"*** A-1, received, *** A-1 in-service, returning. (In the background, "You've got to be f***ing kidding me, up since 5am for this?")