Something funny......Check it out!

[E64PCFD2044 1]

> After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"

> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

>

> The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the

> form, and

> then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

>

> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here

are

> some

> actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the

> solutions

> recorded by maintenance engineers.

>

> By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an

> accident.

>

> ----------------------------------------

> (P= The problem logged by the pilot.)

> (S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

>

> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Something loose in cockpit.

> S: Something tightened in cockpit.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Dead bugs on windshield.

> S: Live bugs on back-order.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute

> descent.

> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

> S: Evidence removed.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

> S: DME volume set to more believable level.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

> S: That's what they're for.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: IFF inoperative.

> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Suspected crack in windshield.

> S: Suspect you're right.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Number 3 engine missing.

> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Aircraft handles funny.

> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Target radar hums.

> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Mouse in cockpit.

> S: Cat installed.

> ----------------------------------------

> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

> pounding

> on something with a hammer.

> S: Took hammer away from midget

[Guest WolfEMT]

LoL =D>

[Pudge3311 5]

great post

[Guest]

now that's witty !!!!!!!! =D> =D> =D>

[firemn23 8]

Those are great

[DOC22 1]

Thanks! I needed a good laugh tonight!!!

[chris 18]

Good stuff.(lol)